i will miss you

6 Jan 15
终于吧把blog给ber看了，不知道他看见我内心的世界会不会吓到。这这样的心怡，你会喜欢吗？我自己卡看回去很旧很旧的那些post, 那些我爱过的人，那些我为他们哭过的人，那些我开心过伤心过的事，现在都不知道要抱着什么感觉去感受了。不知道ber看见看了，会不会很恨我，我喜欢过很多人也爱过很多人，到最后爱到我自己怕了，我说过我要你是我的最后一个，因为伤得太多了我也很累了，心脏很小我承受不起了... 不过谢谢ber给看了我你的心.. 我会好好照顾的，把它塞满那些很开心的很好笑的事，给他越变越大越来越肥，有一天，把它好好的还给你... 谢谢上帝今天又可以见到你，一直在家我好难受跑出去见你我好想哭.. 看到你我真的很想哭可是我不能哭，不可以这时候在你面前哭，你要找工我不可以那么自私让你担心我，所以只是抱了你，我也很开心了 ^_^ 因为我的笨蛋的抱抱很温暖哦！你到处去走到处去问，我就傻傻的跟在你后面，看你很努力的样子觉得很开心，这样的你特别帅 ^_^ 我就到处去snap，把我看到的风景给你看，我想的东西都告诉你，这样也算跟你一起玩了整体啊~ 走下走下你突然不见了，我有点害怕，我不喜欢自己一个人再那么多人的地方... 看着溜冰场抓着围墙发抖，又来了，肚子不好感觉上身体还没好完，觉得已经撑到极限了就坐了下来，sms你... 看你很累的样子我不知道应该说什么哄你开心，我怕说错话，所以只能乖乖跟着，给你看我开心没事的样子，我能做的只是要你不担心我，其实我已经走到很累了..你好像不开心，不知道要怎样弄你开心，想要亲你可是好像太多人了... 你要走了我就陪你去bus stop, 感觉上要累垮了可是现在不陪你以后就不懂要等到什么时候才能陪了，所以一定要撑下去！我懂我瞒不过你的，你也发现我累了，呵呵 很开心有肩膀靠 <3 很久没有这样靠着笨蛋休息了 ^_^ 突然很自私的想bus可以不要那么快来吗？我好想再躺久一点.. 还有多少时间我可以继续被你tickle被你抱... 知足啦心怡！一直提醒自己，我已经很幸福了！姐姐载我回家，我一回到时好后悔，我应该陪你啊！淋雨罢了吗那算什么，我之后是10天不能握你的手给你抱给你亲给你骂给你nag啊...？真的好伤心... 你安慰了我，还是你最会哄我了，叫我一声宝贝我就没哭了 呵呵 <3 睡觉突然被吓醒.. 好害怕，我找不到电话我找不到你，差点就要哭出来了，幸好你突然回来了，我觉得我好没用，没有你我真的很弱很弱... 晚上的心情很重，想太多了，想你想明天想未来，给你知道我一定又被骂惨了 > < 突然电视做夏日乐悠悠，很好看！很感动~ 没有那么伤心了，你的心情也好像比较好了，你笑的样子很好看 ^_^ 一直望着wallpaper发呆，就是我们prom拍的那张，很喜欢.. 好啦被你禁止超过1点睡觉，不要写下去了，我要去抱我的笨蛋睡觉了 <3 10天我会想你的！我爱你 伍斌航

SCARED....

5 Jan 14 

Sicky day at home. Morning wake up jiu keep finding berber le >< how lost am I without u.. Den chiong book of john. Whatsapp with ber and I'm kinda heavy head eventually slept.. Then I slept so long until ber came back and wake me up :P haha piggy me. Then lunch and continue chiong John. Video call with him hehe ^^ then both of us go nap again haha this time I woke first because jw suddenly send me the postcard photo we took when went lagoon hahah so long ady. So xing fen I woke up straight go her house and take. Night was kinda sick urghh but glad I'm feeling well now >< tmr last day le.. Scared TT

TIRED.

4 Jan 15 

Went church and brief Sarah everything.. Afternoon meeting gah so long... But happy God with me and allow me successfully ask for camp money.. Then very long only go home.. Reach le straight go nap and ber woke me up.. Then night sapu Luke.. Whole day chatting with berber hehe ermm feel loved la... And so long no walkie talkie and end up calling... Gah miss those late night talks.. We also chatted many things abt future... So bright haha may god look after us ..

HMM...

3 Jan 14 

Packing Isaiah luggage the whole morning~ and I'm not done yet TT then finally after so long he woke me up from nap, miss that feeling so much ^ ^ night went pavilion, shop n eat.. sad to hear mom say my by must be Christian.. I do hope too but ... Haih dk la.... compromise need to be done... worry that I cannot finish Luke and John bible, God give me strength pls..

SURPRISE DATE YAY

2 Jan 15 

Thank God for today. Yesterday was like 赌气 with ber then morning open his msg saw he say going Sunway outing and come find me before going off. Then I rush out to fetch him and bring him see jinwen and back to popo house. After breakfast brought him upstairs and hugged. Today was last. Feeling so down and 不舍的 and suddenly he hugged me from behind and asked me not to worry.. eventually it turned out to kisses then French kiss.. gonna miss this so much.. Stupid ber.. Then we went pyramid and he go cello outing I go bag hunt while whatsapp ing jinwen. Went SS15 Chemistry caffe and lunch with jinwen then we keng le a lot.. Later my heart asked me I shud go back to find him.. Then I was at popular finding present suddenly he came up n shock me > < then suddenly his juniors n yz came n yam sui us. Then he brought me to eat cendol ^_^ hehe then suddenly yz called up n usher me to call my parents to ask me stay for movie, miraclly mom allow ._. So we went watch Seventh Son, wah yz hen geng hor gave us two seat tgt then they sit below us a row > < then we curi curi below chair hold hands until very tight /// then also play with penguin until like our baby haha x) then wait his juniors back and I feel so unwell until wanna vomit.. Then mom ask me eat liao only go back hahaha so dinner mad with him XD then he hugged me and pat me tell me not to worry again.. and suddenly kiss me so softly shocked me until now still can remember d feel.. kiss me in public /// ah go home whatsapp ed whole nigh so tired ady..really thank God for today giving him whole day with me I feel so happy.. appreciate it very much.. thank God.. I must faster come back and hug him!!

HIIII 2015

1 Jan 15 

HAPPY NEW YEAR YAY ITS 2015 ady haha finally can say bye to those sad stuffs in 2014 ^_^ but today wasn't too happy coz he's was having fun with pmo ians while I were out there shopping for white shirt in tiredness. And he quite busy with fren and somehow I took it as neglected me.. Was so sad and cried before nap then decided to switch off my phone for the rest of the day. But then night going out so need turn on phone, the sadness still engulfing me so I turned on music with Taylor's song, it helped quite well. Went to jays one and night turned quite well. I wish we could date here next time :) night went home and read bible then only on data. He left msg n I guess he slept. Little disappointment but decided not to take it to heart, he must be tired that's how I convince myself..

2014 END :')

31 Dec 14 

2014年对我来说真的有许许多多起起落落，去年的跨年我和教会的人一起，今年的跨年我和华乐的人一起。2013年的最后一天我爱着姚净钟，2014年的最后一天我爱着伍斌航。早上就搭巴士去midvalley买sausage, 然后跟着他send给我的照片搭巴士去ioi。谢谢上帝让我很快等到巴士，又有一位aunty刚好也要下ioi，我就没那么害怕下错站了。在ioi的mcd跟他吃早餐然后玩summonerd war. 之后我们搭巴士回家，原来蛮靠近的。他爸爸在家，我很awkward的在客厅玩电话，之后爸爸走了就去玩他哥哥的电脑开他Twitter看 哈哈。除了是2014年的最后一天，也很有可能是我在去以塞亚见面的最后一天。所以很珍惜在一起的时光，很开心..亲到一半他突然说"心怡我爱你"，我还以为我听错了 ，吓到我了，可是真的很感动.. :') 之后他哄我去睡觉，第一次终于不是虚幻的goodnight kiss了 /// （也有亲得很急的时候，可惜mark fail le）累着累着就睡着了~ 突然妈妈回来之后妹妹回来，我还是继续睡，直到他来叫醒我，拿到了morning kiss <3 之后yl就来啦，我们出去买冰然后开始搬东西，yl叫我加油，哈哈 谢谢<3 虽然我已经成功了，不过笨蛋说上大学后才公开 > < 对了，笨蛋竟然在电话力里把我的名字放成ben dan =3= 哈哈没关系我也是 <3 人陆陆续续的来了开始烤啊吃啊拍照啊 我一直很累。加上他很忙家人又在 没有什么理我 我就没什么精神和chu在一边聊天。之后喝sparkling看他们玩five night，然后大家一起玩card against humanity. 这时候他丢了枕头给我抱，玩玩下就跑出去准备倒数了，我给了他那10封信，这只是我能做的.. 之后就跟他们挥手道别，着sekni车回家去~ 有少少伤感啦因为大家都要分了，会很想念大家特别是他。不过想到今天下午我们亲了那么多，要知足了！！以后还有很长很长时间在一起的，要这样努力很相信着！心怡2015年加油 <3

DATE HEHEHEHE XD

30 Dec 14 

What a day. Morning went for the hobbit hehe not bad d but dk why thorin kili wanna die ): before that went every single supermarket that available in mid for bacon hahaha. Ah still waiting until my face reach the maturity that can hold hands in public also nth d > < I'm 18 next year pls! So long no meet me miss his hug so much..very solid and safe d feel.. And also kisses haha *shy* but still not dare to make mark. Reach home tired die I even slept at bus and took nap after bath. Night was disaster, literally fought with Amanda over little group thing zzz feel so weiqu kena her indiret tweet dao wth like I killed someone n u very kind forgive me wtf. Haih I hope I can handle the roads tmr. Xinyi jiayou!

HEN COLD ZOMOK SO COLD DER

29 Dec 14 

Slacky day at home yohh. Today so cold keep rain. Downloaded a new phone RPG game - summoner war very nice hehe played whole morning! Then afternoon help papa do d church directory so sien zz then k bible TT JIAYOU XINYI U CAN DO IT well a normal day with Berber too hehe hope tmr can continue so happy la :d

RED CARPET 2.0

28 Dec 14 

Red carpet 2.0 busy die today haha thanks Sarah Madeline Christine heng for helping out! Wished everyone had fun :0 afternoon feeling so unwell and slept thru the day. Woke up then keep whatsapp ing my bendan hehe today was lovely. Chatted a lot. Wrote 10 days letter and wrapped up nicely. Hope it would help when I'm gone.. God have mercy on QZ8501.. it's year end already I wish everything can ends silently peacefully and lovely..

WORK AGAIN ZZZ

27 Dec 14 

Woke up late because last night was feeling so unwell but glad I felt ok. Then went empire tower shop and walk. Lunch at madam kwan's. Very nice food and I ate ice cream and cendol. Sent off cousins at kl sentral then go home. Nap and wake up continue work. Today got talk with ber and we okay yaaa just by shuang those girls wanna over night at his place... Hmph TT ok do work until 3am and suddenly period came.. So painful TT Ber....hughug wanted..

RUSH WORK ZZZ

26 Dec 14 

A very busy tiring day. Morning went popo house then ahyi popo house. I didn't wanna go out at first bcoz need to rush mif thing but mom don't let ): so I brought laptop everywhere I go. Did my work at ahyi popo house. When the doc came back I swear it's was my fastest record to keep a laptop. Then one Utama bought bbq stuff. Rush my work and send to papa. Lol even motion sick but still continue to spam at car zzz now feeling so unwell TT night ate oily stuff nap le awhile also no use haih.. rest early ba...

MERRY CHIRTMASSS

25 Dec 14 

Merry Christmas! Went church with my lovely bday dress :3 it wasn't a good start because when v wanna go out someone double park in front dad's car and we waited long but no one came. In the end we went by mom's car. Church very pack so we mif ians went library sit. Lots of babies here. Focusing well in beginning at last end up whatsapp ing TT I'm sorry! Then took photos with friends and receive gifts from them too. So now many people knew I'm going off Isaiah good luck to me! Took nap then ruan sis kuan and ahpo came. Dinner then pyramid yay so fat me. Today ber like hen happy and very attach me haha zomok so kwet yay finally plan hao 31st d thing le ^^ okay need sleep Liao night night

silent night

24 Dec 14 

Silent night. Holy night. Was a slacky day at home. Still arguing with ber.. Was so down.. watching 我可能不会爱你 and I'm done. Made me miss him so much. Thank God for giving me friends beside me, ck yl and wenyi asked abt me. Then I realized how childish I am. Maybe I really should apologize first.. waited very long for him to be free but he's like having some family matter and spam sms me the same msg over and over again. Called me once finally but didn't say anything, wait shouldn't be I'm the one who say something.. argh sorry..

stupid ber.

23 Dec 14 

Morning went Isaiah interview and I passed. So gonna leave at 7 Jan and probation for 10days then 3 months. Thanks huanzong fetching! Got home and busy abt red carpet thing and I missed Kylie so much, miss working with my best partner.. I argued with ber.. Left our group and the countdown group. Just couldn't understand why I just care and I got say I'm xiao qi. He question me why keep bringing up the topic that I'm leaving. Didn't just because that I care? I just simply care enough us? And then u gave up. Ignoring me. I don't have anymore to say. I'm done. Do whatever u want. Because sincere people will show if they do care. If they do. I'm so dissaponted. Sadly was being said like this. Great job ruining my day breaking me heart tearing my eyes. I shall sleep well enjoying my nightmare. Thanks.

SLACK

22 Dec 14 

Slacky day at home used whole day to post class trip and melaka trip photo. So much memories haha. Today Ber went out find job, he shud have told me >< end up so tired haiyoh.. So I went search job sentral and sent to him hope it helps. Guys really like to take it all by own huh ._. Nervous for tmr's interview >< I hope they doesn't ask abt too bible knowledge stuff idk d lehhh TT okay need to rest early prepare myself to God and do the best alright

ipohhh

21 Dec 14 

Last night one hour talk with dear and straight fall asleep without aircond. Went ipoh's church and found that the pastor there will be one of the one teaching in Isaiah. Had lunch than go back KL le yay plant vs zombie so fun hahaha then home sweet home :) haha unpack things laughed so hard at gift weixin gave me cookie making book x) night chat with Berber hahaha laugh die me on ugly photos xD anyway I love mah hair now hehehe time post photos! Prepare hao fb yay

CLASS TRIP DAY 4

20 Dec 14 

Class trip last day ;3 last night late night talk until 4am Yong en hugged my cookie monster to sleep then I was kiap in the middle cold die. Woke at 9 then left hotel to breakfast. Ipoh's Hakka mee really nice hehehe then depart to tambun lost world xD had fun there screamed a lot. Bathed tgt with zhiwei sambil chat. Li qian was not happy that Vinnie x find her. Everyone was sleeping on bus all tired die eventually v reached kampar. Dinner was great and v yam seng hehe. Then I got to leave early and most of d girls gave me hugs <3 so gam dong :') reach ipoh tired die and called ber n talked one hr straight haha okie good night ! Have a good rest xinyi

CLASS TRIP DAY 3

19 Dec 14 

Class trips day 3 aka last day in Penang we woke early to watch sunrise but sadly to found that we're facing north ._. Then breakfast on our own later check out and went Taiping. Took photos and play paddling the swan hehe visit to coffee factory drank lots of coffee today. Finally reached Ipoh and happy to find that we're staying in a quite nice hotel abt five stars I think. And we had dinner then room party. In Xmas gift exchange session, I got cookie monster doll :3 thanks anonymous! Then watch inception and night talk with girls. Ahh feels great with then I really do wish class trip can be longer where we could have more bonding tgt >< anyway its 3.37am now good night :D

CLASS TRIP DAY 2

18 Dec 14 

Class trip day two yay we went to war museum and it's quite hot there, I got to try going thru d tunnel and climbing stairs~ then finally lunch not hawkers stall. Then went penang city the Chew Jetty then take mural photos. Many time left so we Google map and walk to cat cafe :3 haha we was the first group who went bek d bus yay :D then cendol in rain~ went back hotel and beach yay hahaha then pool also~ dinner at hawker again and that's only time today Ber talked with me. Had a fun time talking with chern's group. Later play UNO at their room abt one hr haha, heart attack I never lose before hohoho x) sob leaving tmr le gonna leave pinang and ber... miss here miss him.. ><

CLASS TRIPPPPP

17 Dec 14 

Class trip yay erm.. Honestly I'm not really happy, didn't really fully enjoy it haih.. Me and weixin feel slightly neglected by others well but im trying hard not to think that way... Morning our bus broke down and we waited 2 hrs for a new bus to come , it was quite torturing as in no air cond and couldn't wait outside because of rain. Then because of rushing schedule we didn't have seafood lunch ): Ber no reply me.. And jinwen called and chuan me said she saw ber at mamak. Then one of d best thing is my hp camera took a lot nice photos. Well a bit sad is we no same room dao with zhiwei Sarah.. So end up with shanyi and huiyuan not sure but I think weixin is x happy abt it.well so do I but what to do. Spent night at opposite guy's room and watch how to train your dragon 2 sambil whatsapp Berber.. He stay so far...cannot sneak meet.. Well just hope tmr will be fun !

MELAKA TRIP MIF YAY

16 Dec 14 

melaka day yay waking up in 6am is really torturing for me urgh first time vacation with bro. Okay its quite cool when PnW maybe everyone haven't wake up. Then me heng rong sit huanen car, others all ze song car. The bunch of kids made ze song car very re nao haha we here kinda calm just chit chatting. Went many places today and mostly is I walk with the chee's haha especially rong LA because heng just came bek from his class trip basically he's all worn out haha. Took many photos and walked many roads, very tired ah TT the rice ball isn't as tasty as few years back then but it was OK la since everyone very hungry le. This trip is normal but with mif it feels very relax hehe. Guess I'm really tired of planning and worrying stuff and slowly letting go :) its their turn now. Hahamy bendan ah so cute remember wrong class trip date x) luckily no take bus go penang if not sleep roadside haha aduh I called him N times he only call back me once zzz so sad la haih guest I have to get used to "not all calls will be answered" concept of his.. Well let's hope that class trip would be fun enough! And memorable :3

this addiction kills

15 Dec 14 

Normal day spent to look thru my new phone :3 emmm very satisfied with it's camera and the quality. changed fb pp wow got more then 160 likes a day hehe. Raymond asked me abt isaiah interview.. So it's finally coming. Missed him very much but did I miss too much.. his shoulder, where I can lean on and calm myself down when he put his arms around my waist.. that's what we call hug. And of course I was shock I still can recall the smell, his lips, when he kissed me, and French.. just oh dear this addiction would have killed me.. please come home quickly..

new phoneeee

14 Dec 14

New phone and finally Huawei honor 6 yay hehe. Just gimme some time to get use of this urging too sad my whatsapp history and sms all gone TT SOB. Morning busy any PnW hehe then Hz lead zhuan ti and it was last of the year aww play game hahaha then go home nap and buy phone! Used less than 2hr to prepare for prom haha thx mom for d make up! Then papa fetch me there and I found June, v took a lot photo tgt haha then find Dao my Berber le hehe haha ugly. Then saw more n more ppl glad my New phone camera hen dim took many photos :3 sat with ber n v r so near d stage. Enm there's many events going on : best dress, prom king queen, best prom date n lucky draw n lots performance~ food was ok until dessert I couldn't take it anymore felt so stressed so he pro me out and walk. Thru escalator and ground floor then back to 2nd floor took photos and then 3rd floor. Stayed quite long there n chatted a lot~ gonna miss this Ben dan for 7 days zzz Haih hugged kisses enough hehe /// brought me to French enough /// glad I took photos with him with closed posture hehe happily but tired die, so late reach home ard 12.30pm feel kinda guilty.. but still My lips, ears, legs, it still feels.... <3