Happy birthday mom. Thanks for breaking my heart. Made me cry and fall. Make me feel like suiciding.. if not, today was actually a great day.. morning we met.. I knew.. I can feel.. that you will miss..me maybe. I will miss too.. that we're holding hands.. and u play pou always dont feed it.. and viewing my gallery without asking.. then pinch my face so hard and sayang me later on.. yes I feel loved.. and so you went. And we never meet although i was back to school later on. Another library day with wenyi. It was cold, but I have your jacket. Sorry i havent wash it.. rain was so heavy. Fancy knowing Godwin and v three idiots ran in rain back library. Jac was totally wet. I survived whiteout wearing jac in library at afternoon. So there's one day I need to rely on WiFi too. Got home. Ane I sent that women happy birthday with long text. And I got a thx back and thats all. Yea. My mom. I knew. She gave up on me, on dad, on this family. I just keep lying to myself that we. Will continue together, like forever. But how come my forever so short? If this was a dream just fucking wake me up. Enough bullshit. I was so scared. So terrified. Imso scare that I cant control my emotion, my feelings, my tears... I very scared that I might not able to control myself next from doing.anything stupid.. I tried hard to struggle okay.. god u told me a big joke, but whats the meaning behind just let me know already. I cant bare this I scare I couldn't make it to tmr. How long that I havent have this feeling back where my disappointment lead me straight away to..deadth
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